


together, in death

by cutepoison



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Mentions of Beyond The Veil, Nightmares, Post-Order of the Phoenix, soft angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-20
Updated: 2017-07-20
Packaged: 2018-12-04 13:50:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11556516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cutepoison/pseuds/cutepoison
Summary: It comes to Remus disguised as a dream.It leaves Remus as a nightmare; as an old friend.





	together, in death

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this while sad (and high) so please excuse any missed mistakes. I listened to The Night We Met by Lord Huron on repeat while writing this as well, so it'd be neato if you listened to it while reading? Interactive fic, whoo.

_Tell me we’re dead and I’ll love you even more._  
_I’m surprised that I say it with feeling. -R. Siken_

It comes to Remus disguised as a dream.

Sirius’ hair's long, a rich, dark brown with a highlight only natural curls could bring. He’s smiling, laughing hysterically at something James said to Peter, and Remus stares at him from across the room, admiring his effortless beauty. It’s seventh year, almost over, and Remus feels a familiar pang in his gut; a yearning feeling.

The dream continues on--Sirius knocking back a couple of shots, grinning smugly as Wormtail tries to keep up but failing miserably, James snogging Lily over in the corner--and Remus subconsciously curls around one of the pillows lying abandoned beside him.

Oh. _Oh._

It’s the night… The night Sirius gently pressed Remus up against the wall near the stairs leading to the dormitories after everyone had gone to bed, firewhiskey filling Remus’ senses as Sirius leaned in and heaved a breath against his lips, a quiet _Heya, Moony_ , and then a perfect kiss. A perfect, first kiss.

The embers dying down in the fireplace complemented the warm hue from the few lamps strewn about the common room, and as they pulled away from the kiss, Remus ever so slowly opened his eyes and looked at every inch of Sirius’ face he could, committing it to memory as if it was the very last time he was going to see the other boy; his eyebrows and the little furrow between them, his bony nose, his cupid’s bow lips, the beginnings of facial hair, the light dusting of freckles falling across his cheeks.

He breathes his own little _Hi, Padfoot_ , and then they kiss again.

It’s easy, Remus thinks, how they fall in sync like this. It was a long time coming and now that it’s happening, Remus never wants it to end. There’s a twinge of melancholy in his chest and he pulls away from Sirius’ lips again, resting their foreheads together.

His hands smooth down the front of Sirius’ white button-up, burgundy tie askew and loose around his collar. Remus curls his fingers around it and keeps Sirius close.

“This is Heaven, isn’t it?” The words are barely a whisper, mostly to himself, but Sirius cocks a brow and circles his arms around Remus’ waist.

“What’s Heaven?”

Remus chuckles. “This. Us. Right now.”

“Heaven sounds like one hell of a place, then,” Sirius says, and he places a kiss at the side of Remus’ upturned mouth.

“I wish we were dead,” Remus whispers after a few long moments. “Tell me we’re dead, Sirius. Please.”

Sirius pulls away and looks at Remus, confused, and then the room begins to darken, the expression on Sirius’ face becoming more and more painful to look at as it contorts into that of an older man, falling into a sort of grey-blue mist, silky-looking, eyes paling, and then his entire body.

_No. No, this didn’t happen that night…_

Remus feels the jolt right down to his tired, aching bones as he starts awake, hair matted to his forehead with sweat, chest heaving. He looks up at the ceiling, just as dark as his dream had turned, and he runs his hands through his damp hair, reveling in the cool air that clings to his overheated skin.

It leaves Remus as a nightmare; as an old friend.


End file.
